Wednesday, May 31, 2006
ONE MANS (WOMANS) TRASH.....
This still makes me gag at the thought. It happened last June, I'm a teacher andI had a little boy in the first grade who was constantly putting things in his mouth. I'd catch him sucking or chewing on something and ask him to put it in the wastepaper basket. It happened several times a day. Everyone was pretty distracted on this particular day because there were only a few days left til summer vacation. Sure enough, early in the day i noticed that BJ had something in his mouth. I told him to spit it in the wastepaper basket and he obliged. Imagine my horror when a tampon applicator came shooting out of his mouth into the basket...never found out where he got it!
Monday, May 29, 2006
Repo Man
I once worked a as repo man for one of those lousy tv rental companies. One time we had this particularly difficult customer who hadn't paid her bill in months and had moved a few times in an effort to avoid her creditors. Anyway, someone finally tracked her down and, since she was thought to be unstable, the Manager asked me to take Hal a 6'5 250 lb, black, former Navy Seal
who was a driver for us...just in case.
We arrived at the building, found a way in, tapped on the door and waited after afew minutes, the door opened and there stood this monsterously huge, obese woman in some type of tent-like robe. She demanded to know "who the F...k, are you?" and I (stepping in the door) explained
calmly that her bill was past due and that I had to pick-up the TV. She slammed one huge, ham-sized fist down on the tv (I was moving toward it) and warned me that if I didn't leave right-away she was going to"F...k up your white ass"...I then looked back to Hal, wondering when he was going to step up and add his presence to the mix, only to find, He wasn't there! In fact, he'd disappeared as soon as the woman opened the door! I turned back to the angry red-eyed, puffing hulk. Apologized for bothering her, and made a hasty exit myeslf.
The TV was never seen again.
who was a driver for us...just in case.
We arrived at the building, found a way in, tapped on the door and waited after afew minutes, the door opened and there stood this monsterously huge, obese woman in some type of tent-like robe. She demanded to know "who the F...k, are you?" and I (stepping in the door) explained
calmly that her bill was past due and that I had to pick-up the TV. She slammed one huge, ham-sized fist down on the tv (I was moving toward it) and warned me that if I didn't leave right-away she was going to"F...k up your white ass"...I then looked back to Hal, wondering when he was going to step up and add his presence to the mix, only to find, He wasn't there! In fact, he'd disappeared as soon as the woman opened the door! I turned back to the angry red-eyed, puffing hulk. Apologized for bothering her, and made a hasty exit myeslf.
The TV was never seen again.
Saturday, May 27, 2006
Big Time Radio Guy Story #1
Many years ago I was lucky enough (cough, cough) to land a job working for the lowest rated
radio station in Cleveland. At one point we had somewhat of a top 40 type format (same songs played over and over) and the Program Director decided to put Pink Floyds "Another Brick in The Wall" into heavy rotation, twice an hour. Now this stupid song is about 7 minutes long, which mean that if you factor in time for news, sports, ads and station identification, there were actually times when we only heard ONE other song between "The Wall", news and crap and then the stinking
"Wall" again...as soon as the first sounds of the helicopter ("Stand still Laddie!!) came on everyone in the station would groan...I still hate that song.
radio station in Cleveland. At one point we had somewhat of a top 40 type format (same songs played over and over) and the Program Director decided to put Pink Floyds "Another Brick in The Wall" into heavy rotation, twice an hour. Now this stupid song is about 7 minutes long, which mean that if you factor in time for news, sports, ads and station identification, there were actually times when we only heard ONE other song between "The Wall", news and crap and then the stinking
"Wall" again...as soon as the first sounds of the helicopter ("Stand still Laddie!!) came on everyone in the station would groan...I still hate that song.
