THECRAPPYJOB.COM

I work in a very high security skyscraper office building in a major city. This building is locked up tight 24/7...except for the loading dock, where the fattest, laziest, most sorry excuse for a Security Guard worked. Each day, he would push the security desk in a blind corner UNDER a camera, where he couldn't be seen or taped, and immediately fall fast asleep. One day he woke up and found himself having to explain why both his gun AND his desk had gone...both stolen while he was snoring away.

I used to be a cook. I was making hot wing sauce. While boiling the sauce base on the stove I was chopping habenero peppers in a food processer. After they were chopped up I would take my hand and scoop it out into the sauce base. I did this process three or four times. While every thing was blended and simmering I decided that I needed to use the bathroom. I normally wash up afterwards but this time I should have before. I did my thing and walked out of the bathroom. About halfway across the dining room I started to burn incredibly "down there". I got to the kitchen thinking "Man, What the hell have I picked up?". Then I saw the sauce on the stove and knew what had happened. The pain went on for about 30 minutes even though I was outside while holding a ziplock bag full of ice on my "stuff".

I worked for one guy who was temperamental to the point of insanity. He had a hair trigger temper over the silliest things. Vengeful over nothing-we all had to walk on eggs.The worst part was he was married but having an affair with another (and higher up) married male. They would meet at noon at a nearby park! If Mr. Prissy whined, the higher up would make by bosses boss change the situation! We were all happy for him when he finally came out of the closet years later!

I work in retail and some of the things we see are unbelievable! Most recently we found a sex toy in one of the ladies fitting rooms. We once found a digital camera with pictures of girls trying on bras and in various stages of undress. Very awkward when she showed up with her dad to claim the camera. Lots of dirty diapers and feminine supplies (yes, unfortunately). Recently had a man trying on a bra. Since it was close to Halloween we kind of wrote it off, until he asked for matching panties.