Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Three Legged Security Team (or why you shouldn't pass out drunk in Phoenix)

When I was 14, my mother's boyfriend had a door knocker type of security service. Basically, 2 or 3 times a night, you walk through warehouses and such and punch a clock at the different stations around the place while looking for bad guys or whatever. They thought it would be a good way for me to make some extra money if I worked all night so they teamed me up with this one legged guy (I was too young to drive) and we went around to a bunch of places and 'secured' them. One place we went was a laundromat. We had to close it up at 1 am. He couldn't get out of the car, so I had to do the legwork. He'd sit and wait 'til I got done, then we'd drive to the next place. At this laundromat, he ran out of gas, so I had to hitch hike to a gas station (this was in Phoenix, AZ, a 24 hour town) to get some gas. A Maricopa county cop saw me hitch hiking and pulled over to ask me why I was hitch hiking at 2 am on a school night. I told him the story, but of course, he didn't believe it, but he 'offered' to take me to the gas station and back to the car, which he did. When we got back to the laundromat, the one legged guy was still waiting in his old 1948 Hudson and the cop talked to him and he verified everything I said, so he didn't haul me in. I was pretty happy about that! (This was in 1964)

Also in Phoenix, I worked weekend days at a wrecking yard that year using an acetylene torch to cut up junker cars for scrap. That was REALLY a hot sweaty job, but I got cigarettes and $5 per weekend. That was cool.

Another of my mother's boyfriends would 'hire' winos to work on a cotton farm south of Phoenix. We'd cruise skid row in the evening (Phoenix had a huge skid row) to hunt these guys down and get them to drinking in the back of the panel truck. When they were finally passed out, we'd drive to the farm and take them in this large barracks type building with about 20 beds in it. They'd wake up the next morning not knowing where the hell they were. Pretty funny, cause the farm was virtually in the middle of the desert, so they either had to work in the cotton fields or take a chance on walking back to town without dying.

I had a lot more unpleasant jobs, but these were probably the worst. AND, they are TRUE!

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